Silently

An unprecedented appreciation for silence has accompanied my foray into parenthood. Even on evenings that conclude the most sleep deprived of days, when I should sensibly retire to bed as soon as I am able, I invariably find myself sitting in solitude simply enjoying the absence of sound.

This week the twins have started morning playschool. From 7h30am until 12h30pm I am a free agent. Well, physically anyway. My mind is still captive to the brain fog that accompanies a 3h30am start to the day, coupled with the omnipresent parental guilt at having put them in someone elses care.

The peace that exists in those magical moments when I do manage to sync (or at least partially overlap) their naps is of an entirely different variety to that which I am experiencing this morning. Its an adjustment, being alone, and not an unwelcome one. However I find myself momentarily mistaking the noises of the neighbours children for those of my own, and subconsciously still anticipating the piercing heartbroken cries that invariably accompany my sons awakening from his nap.

Being a mom of twins has rendered me in a perpetual state of wardrobe malfunction. Spending much of my day bending down, I find that I am always self-consciously tugging at my (never particularly short) dresses, that lately seem to ride up. V-neck garments, or anything without a very modest neckline, have been relegated to the back of my closet. I seem to spend my entire day in various degrees of dishevelment, and wearing anything with an open neck, when constantly being clung to by a baby barnacle (or two) seems to always result in an exposed bra strap (or two).

Having a morning to exist as something other than a human jungle gym I decided to wear something that I wouldn’t normally be able to comfortably wear as a full time mom.

This  vogue pattern I have had for quite a long time. It is undoubtedly a very pretty design and I loved it at first glance. Still I had some reservations about whether or not it would suit me. I speculated that I may not end up wearing it were I to make it, for the reasons mentioned above, and also because it is just so different from the dresses I seem to find myself wearing often. But the lovely, feminine cut got the better of me and I decided to give it a go, making the dress mid summer with ambitions of casually wearing it with sandals on the sweltering days to which its loose, airy silhouette is perfectly suited.

Today it is cold… like its in undoubtedly winter… and it is the first time that I am wearing it. With stockings. This is hardly a revealing dress, yet I somehow just couldn’t bring myself to bare leg, shoulder and back at the same time and it never saw the light of the summer days that I imagined it for.I don’t know why I am such a prude, I always aspire to show just a little more skin. I know that baring a few extra centimeters of limb/ shoulder etc is something that should be enjoyed in my (relative) youth, yet I have never been comfortable displaying a lot of flesh and find myself even less inclined to do so now that I’m a mama.

Finding a suitable fabric for the dress proved to be a little tricky, due to the self tie that is cut in one with the back overlay.  Its is not bagged out, its just hemmed, so any difference between the wrong and right side of the fabric (were there to be one) would be very visible. The difference in sides of this paisley viscose that I chose from my fabric stockpile is hardly noticable, the wrong side is just a little darker than the right side. I think this dress would be great in a fabric without a print too but at the time I wasn’t able to go fabric shopping so I had to make do with what I had.

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Although today is the first time I am wearing it, I really did like the fit of the dress from the moment that I first tried it on many months ago. The neckline of mine seemed to turnout a fair amount looser than the image on the pattern, despite my stay-stitching the neck immediately after cutting it out, and following the instructions to the letter. It does seem to slip off my shoulders quite a lot, but then I have always felt that I have strange knobbly shoulders (possibly due to mild scoliosis of the spine), that often result in annoying shoulder slippage.

 

 

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